Sapana Darji

Sponsor: Alexander Qvennerstedt. Sapana was born 1997 and is now at Nepal Law Campus in Kathmandu.

From Sapana April 2020

My life

Poor is a word which every body can easily understood even the rich people but the actual suffered ,pain, discrimination, domination is only understood by those people who have to face or born in poor and low caste family. And in poor family I was born in 1998/11/5. There is 6 members in my family they are father, mother, 2brother,sister and me .Mostly people used to said that if a girl is born in a family there is born of godess but unfortunately it wasn’t because I was the child which my father didn’t want to be but I was born and my father thinks that I will be burden for them so he wants to kill me even he hates me when I was child but God save me because God wants me to live long so that I can do something for other people like me. I was born in such a family which they cannot fulfill my dream,hobby,wish so I never make a wish I just make a wish in my dream because it never be fulfilled in my real life . My mother who got married when she was 15 years old and she also have dream to go school but it never fulfilled but when I grow up my mother took me school to get admission but my school didn’t admit me because I was so small,thin because I didn’t get good nutrition food when I was child and in that school there is no security guard who takes care of children so they didn’t let me to admit but I cried alot because I want to go school as my brother and sister go to school. And one day there is no one in my house so I also went school with my brother and sister and I was so happy when I sit in bench and see teacher teaching them at that time, I was literally happy and excited . And finally time came, I got admission hurry! I was so happy even though I didn’t have school uniform,bag, copy , pencil but in my face there is different kind of brightness. I used to go school with joy and happiness and I thought that might be education helps me to left darkness behind and bring brightness in my life. I don’t know but I really want to thank my almighty God who always gives me pain because God didn’t give me chance to be happy and as my family economic condition is not good and my father drink lots of alcohol because he have bad friend who teach him to drink alcohol and he bits my mothers, sister and me also, I cried alot that time I thought that When my dad will change ?When he loves me? I know the real meaning of hunger when I didn’t get food to eat and thought that if I could find some money on road so I always look in road if I found some money so that I could eat food . I wish this things never happened to anyone I used to cried alot though I want to stop my tears but couldn’t stop and it’s go on until I feel asleep and enjoying my dreams. In my family mother works in other house and my father do labour work and they didn’t have enough money that even they couldn’t effort my school fee. My mother also work in one organization.i.e ABC Nepal and because of my family situation they told my mother that they will support me for my study and my mother is so happy and she came to me and told me that you need to stay in ABC Nepal`s hostel because they are going to support you for your study I was so happy that they are going to support me whether I didn’t want to leave my family because I was so small but I went there because I want to study more so that I can change my father in good way and improve my family situation. And at that time I was 9/10 years old studying in class four . For the first time I am facing homesick but my family is near by me and when I was in that hostel I have seen so many girls who have been trafficked , rape, orphane I cried all the day by seeing their problem but I can’t do anything just make them happy and I thought that in future I will do some good work for those girls who are being facing problems. As that organization is run by the support of our guest so there used to come many guest who helped financially for our study, food . And in holiday time I used to go my family house and when I have to return hostel at that time I began to cry because I want to live with my

family and my mother always said that you need to go because you have to study. And time goes so fast with happiness and sadness in ABC Nepal . And for the first time there came a foreign guest her name is Pi- Charlotte who came with her team I was so happy and want to welcome her and that was my first speech infornt of lots of people while giving speech I was so afarid but I try my best hope her team enjoy alot and I never forget that best movement and in that movement one of the staff of ABC Nepal said that she is going to sponsor me I was happy I got my godmother and godfather. And from class 7 they transfer me in new school where rich people study and in my first day I was so excited to go school in school bus. And I enter in school it was so big building wow! And I enter my classroom I sit with one girls and I don’t have books and try to look at her book but she didn’t share her book with me from inside I cried alot and thought that I shouldn’t transfer my school because I haven’t good friend but time goes on and everything went normal as they are talking with me alot, sharing food and I also enjoying my school days alot . And when I was in garde 8 for the first time,Pi-charllote, Eva,Barsha ,Arati,Saru and me went outside in Buddha we enjoy all the day alot and that was my first awesome feeling when we go restaurant eat delicious food ice cream , pizza, chaumin I can’t explain I was so happy and enjoy alot. I wish that I could enjoy all the time but when I was in 10 standard again my problem starts as from ABC Nepal they said that I need to pay myself school tuition fee and for snacks also which my family can’t pay fee and I am taking lots of tension about fee so I couldn’t concentrate on my study so I failed and suddenly in classroom I cried bitterly more than 2 hours and my all friends came near to me and I told everything to them and one of my friend father support me for my tuition and snacks fee. I continue my study and my result came that I am passed in my SLC and then my college life is beginning and I used to go to inquiry for the college fee and I came to know about the expensive of college fee which my family can’t effort so I decided to join government college but from childhood I used to study in private school so I didn’t understand what teacher is teaching in government colleges so I just changed another private college for study and for that I need to pay fee and I decided I will work so I started teaching and my salary was 5k I used to pay my fee from that and one day ABC Nepal staff called me and said that again I m being supported by Pi- Charlotte I was so happy I didn’t need to pay my college fee but I used to buy stationary , uniform by myself and rest of money i used to give to my mother. After finishing my +2 level then I need to join bachelor level and I was confused what to join? Basically my aim is to became army but in reality I am not physically fit so I dropped my aim and thinking about my aim so finally I Decided to became a lawyer so that I can give justice to innocent people. I have work very hard to pass the entrance exam and finally I got admission. Yahhuu ! I was so happy when I heard this news and I told this good news to my God mother and godfather and they were so happy about hearing my result and after that I have buy uniform , bag , copy with the help of my godmother and godfather . I felt that I am in my way I can do anything haha i used to smile and taking with myself when I go to college I was littery in another world where I see that I am in my way to good future and I never want to loose my future. Times goes on and everything is going well and one day my godfather and godmother knows about ABC Nepal real face which I also wants to share with them that they didn’t give stationary at time , medicine . But I was always afraid that if I shared then they will not send me school. And after that my godfather and godmother send money to sumitra mam who lived in kritipur and staff of ABC Nepal always said that I couldn’t live there if my godmother didn’t pay money for food, so I called sumitra mam and we decided to leave ABC Nepal and live Maya Home located in kritipur that place is good but I couldn’t adjust and I need to do lots of work which I have never done before and even I can’t concentrate in my study and there is no one I could share my feeling so I feel like depress and one day Mam scold me for not working in kitchen and I called godfather and began crying and after that my godmother and godfather came in Nepal and I share them everything and finally they said to me to live with family .I was so happy and continue my study from my house. I have face lots of problem but I used to smile every time but I am that person who always in fear , low confidence , fear to tell truth and this things only know by myself . And my godmother asked me to participate in Landmark Forum training and I immediately say yes because I want to transform so that nobody could dominate me and have power and I participate Landmark forum which was held in August 25/2011 in Nepal for the first time and I concentrate deeply whatever our host said to us and do all the assignments honestly then what I got is that I can create possiblity in my life is that confident , honesty, proud, leadership, power to share everything, happinesses. I really want to acknowledged my lovely godmother and godfather for making me participating in Landmark forum . And from that I was so changed and even wants to more changing in my life so I am really interested to participate in Advance course of Landmark forum and finally good news to me I got sponsor for my course Mr. Brian is going to pay my course fee and my other expensive is sponsor by my godmother ,godfather , Mina sister and my family with their support I finally get chance to participate advance course in New Delhi . On October 10th we have flight to go New Delhi and it’s my dream to fly in aeroplane and when I was in plane I feel so awesome yahhuu ! for the first time I have fly in plane yahhuuu,hurry I want to shout loudly and tell everyone `hello my dream is fulfilled I m in plane and when I look outside the plane I just want to play with clouds, want to touch sky, want to fly like birds . And finally we landed in another country India and we started participate in training and in that training time I missed so much my godmother I wished that if she is near she will helped me alot to understand everything in training and after two days she was there I was so surprised and happy that was my best memories ever and I got power to work in group , leadership. And after the training we visited lots of place like Agra, Banaras, Delhi we enjoyed alot that was my awesome trip to India . And after that we return to our country and continue with my study and try to transform some of participate friends because I want to stand for them because now I got power to speak truth , honesty, proud , happiness , leadership. And I used to work in my family , friends and now everything is good that my father didn’t drink alcohol and now he loves me and even my brother also talk me nicely . I thought that in future I could find good partner who understand my feeling and hope everything will go well in my life. I don’t know but I really want to thank you to my almighty God for giving me pain and request to God give me more so that I will do best in my future and I want to help the girls who have been facing problems like me and I will do it. THANK YOU

From Sapana Darji, october 2019
Sapana after the Advanced course:My life is totally changed after basic course of Landmark Forum training but again I was afraid to talk with unknown people or even I don’t have power to deal the problem arises in my family and friends so that I took participate in Landmark Advance course and from the Advance course what I got is that now I am connected with everyone one and have power to deal problem arises in my family, friends by sharing my real things, for example my brother and I was good friends, we share everything  and nowadays we even didn’t talked with each other but after the Landmark Advance course I got that power to deal with my brother and share my real feeling to him that how much I am sad when he didn’t talk with me and how much I am angry when he scold me? Then he said sorry to me  and now I can creat new possibility with my brother by expressing my feelings and by understanding his feelings also. Now I got power to create  new possibilities in my life as well as in my family, with friends and with relatives.
Sapana Darji

From Sapana, august 2019:
I acknowledge Nepaleducation for giving me the golden opportunity to
participate in the Landmark Forum training. Before the Landmark Forum
training I was literally afraid while selfexpress about my caste, family
condition to other people because I was afraid they might leave me. I have
no confidence while doing presentation my legs, hands were shacking even
my voice was not so clear. And in my mind there always running sounds with
complaining people for not listening to me, afraid to tell the truth and always
pretend to them that I am good to everyone but in reality I was so sad,
unhappy, unsatisfied 😔
After the Landmark Forum training, what I got was that I can easily express
myself to the people without fear of losing people. I have power to speak
confidently in front of my class room, with unknown people, also with having
eye contact, clear voice. I got power to show the real me . And now there is
no small voice running around my mind so what I created for myself and my
life is the possibilities of being happy, satisfied, relived and proud.